


Don't listen to Feferi

by orphan_account



Series: Self-Indulgent Porn [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:07:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan gets drunk, gets caught, and gets off. Everybody wins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't listen to Feferi

The air was hot and heavy, your lungs were struggling to do something so simple as breathe as you waded your way through the sea of bodies. Your neck gills were fluttering, a panic reflex when your lungs weren't working well enough to keep your body alive. 

You knew that it had been a bad idea to let Fef bring you to the damned bar. And it was a lot more of a bad idea to consume enough alcohol to make anyone and their mother sick. The air was thick with smoke, and it was so hot you were sweating profusely under your sweater and scarf getup. You were sure that there was even beads of sweat rolling down the side of your face. 

You probably looked exactly like you were; a seadweller out of the ocean. Or a fish-out-of-water, if that would be an easier reference.

It didn't help that you were a slight bit claustrophobic, especially when you were being pressed in on all sides by bodies, all of them dancing indecently by themselves, or grinding against their partners.

You were pushed this way and that as you struggled towards the exit, managing to bump into almost every unfortunate person in the club along the way.

When you finally made it to the door, you let out a sigh of relief as your body temperature slowly returned to normal with the cold of the night.

"You okay, kid?"

You turned around and found yourself faced with a tall, shaggy-haired troll. Your stomach decided that it should go ahead and start rebelling against that liquor you put in there. Illegally, of course. You were only 8 sweeps old when the legal age was 9. 

You knew that you kind of deserved it, but you were humiliated to the very core of your being when you had to stumble over to the alley and throw up everything that you had ate for the entire day. 

You barely felt the soothing hand rubbing your back as you puked up the contents of your stomach. But when you stood up there was the stranger, standing not even a foot away from you.

You were about to go on a drunken rant about personal space when you saw that he was holding out a handkerchief to you.

You were stunned for a moment, but you took it with a mumbled thank you and used it to wipe your mouth. 

"Tho, are you okay?"

The question earned the stranger a disbelieving look and a slight growl. "Do I look okay to you?" You asked, your barely violet eyes narrowing at him.

"Are you okay to enough to get back to your hive, or do you need me to call thomeone for you?"

You groaned loudly, anger mounting inside of you. "I don't need your help, lowwblood," You said as snarkily as you could in your current state. "I can get back to my hivve just fine."

You stepped forward, chest out and earfins displayed proudly, trying to prove your ability to take care of yourself, but you must've misjudged the timing or something because you slipped up halfway through your step and ended up getting your face buried in this guy's stomach.

That was not a comfortable place to have your face, he was all hard bones and harder muscles, your face was probably bruised. And you weren't pretty sure that this guy wasn't any worse for wear.

Firm hands grasp your shoulders and you are pulled back away from the damned lowblood's warm abdomen. He felt kind of nice now that you were thinking about it. 

You felt a firm hand grasp your chin and tilt your head upwards. "You're jutht a wriggler." The words were a statement, not a question. "You are not even old enough to legally be in a bar, are you?" 

As if you were stupid enough to tell him that. No way, you were totally gonna lie to this sucker. 

"I am not. I am 9 swweeps old, and last I checked that was the legal age to consume alcohol." You smirked at him, not even thinking about how pathetic it looked while he was pretty much supporting your entire body.

"No. You're only 8 thweepth old." The tall stranger said, his toothy grin becoming more pronounced as the moonlight shone down on him, making his dual fangs glisten. "You're Dymion'th boy." There's was a slight pause "Eridan, right? Cronuth is already a good 14 or 15 thweepth old."

Your brain takes a bit to catch up, but when it does you realize that you are so completely and utterly screwed. This guy knew your dad. And if your dad found it about you sneaking out to a sleazy bar with Feferi, you would be grounded until you were 15 sweeps old.

"How did you knoww?" You managed to mumbled out, your face heating up when he grinned at your admittance.

"I am Thimon Captor, my boy, Thollukth, is about your age, and he isn't old enough to be drinking either."

Sol's dad?

You gulped and you could feel yourself shrinking down a little bit,  
Your stomach curling up as fear began to settle on you, cold and heavy.

"Please don't tell my dad." You said, your earfins flattening back against your head with fear. You tried to pull back away from him, but only found yourself pulled closer to him.

"Don't worry, kid." The adult said, a grin making his fangs seem so much bigger. "I won't be telling your dad anything. If you need thomewhere to thleep it off, my couch ith open to you."

You managed a small, very weak grin, just for the sake of staying on this guy's good side, and nodded. "Yeah, thanks, that wwould be rather nice right noww."

You suspected nothing. As you were led, very patiently to a large, black truck. A vehicle that you had to raise an eyebrow at, even in your inebriated state. It just did not suit him at all.

He noticed your skeptical look and laughed. "It wath a 13th wriggling day gift for Mituna," he said, almost like an apology. "He wath very into it for the firtht theveral perigreeth, when he wath fluthh-dating GHB'th boy. Kurloz, I think it wath."

"Kurloz is my older brother's kismesis." You blurted out suddenly, not even thinking about it.

"Oh really?" There was surprise in his voice, as well as humor, but you really didn't care, and the liquor was leading your tongue as you started speaking again.

"Yeah, this one time I came home early from a FLARPing session that VVriska convinced me to join, and cod, it was awwful." You grimaced, remembering when you had come in the front door to find Cronus pinned down to the floor in the middle of the hallway, his clothes in shreds and his body covered in bloody scratches as he was pailed into the floor by the mute Capricorn. "They wwere covvered in blood and swweat, and cod knowws wwhat else."

You had a moment of ice-bucket realization when your bulge stirred in your sheathe, and you realized that you were turning yourself on.

"Well, kithmethith' have needth ath much as matethpritth do." Psimon said calmly as he opened the door of the large pickup and helped the drunk seadweller up into the passenger seat. "Tho, I don't blame your brother for his choitheh. Kurloz ith a good kid, though I mutht admit that I'm very imprethed with your brother for taking on one of the Makara'th ath a kithmethith."

You manage a wry chuckle as he closed the door, and you stared out the window until he had rounded the pickup and pulled himself up into the driver's side.

"Evveryone seems to be impressed wwith Cronus since he snagged Kurloz," you said bitterly. 

"Is there thomething wrong with that?" He asked as he started the truck, put it in gear, and pulled out.

You wanted to tell him that you felt left out, that you felt unappreciated because no one ever payed any attention to you, and since Cronus got Kurloz, they payed even less attention to you. But that was crossing way too close to moirail territory and you didn't want to have that with him. You already had Fef.

You just frowned, your eyes falling to your lap. "Wwhat's so special about Cronus?" You asked finally. "He's not that great. Just because he has eyes that actually wwork and holds a fake cigarette between his perfect teeth." You made a disgusted expression and folded your arms, seething.

You were shocked when you heard laughter. And not just muffled, quiet laughter, but a nice, rich laughter that washed over you like waves.

You looked over at him, your eyes wide behind the rims of your spectacles. "Wwhy are you laughing?" you asked, truly confused by his joviality.

"It'th jutht funny," the shaggy-haired man said. "You're tho caught up in be ing jealouth of your brother that you can't even thee your own appeal."

"I'm not jealo-" you stopped right in the middle of an outright lie to stare at the Gemini. "'My appeal'?" You asked. "What do you mean by that?" You were feel strangely coherent for someone who was as drunk as you were. But maybe you just felt the need to keep your right mind while having this kind of conversation.

"I'm trying to thay that you are adorable."

You were not blushing when he said that. Were not.

"I'm not adorable." You said, looking at your lap, not to hide your blush, but to hide the silly grin on your face.

"You are too," the adult pushed, reaching over and very casually resting a hand on your thigh. "A very cute verthion of your father, you're going to grow out of that cuteneth and be a very handthome troll, jutht like your father. Anybody thhould be proud to thnatch one of your quadrantth."

You raised one eyebrow at his words, or you tried to at least, it turns out being both of them and you are pretty sure you squeaked embarrassingly in surprise when he squeezed your thigh.

"Wwhat are you doing?" You stammered, not quite able to remember how your hands worked as his hand slid up your thigh, moving just slightly over to the center, firm fingers painting smooth circles on the sensitive inner thigh through your skinny jeans. 

Cod, you had never hated Fef before, but you were so fucking close to right then because she had forced you into the damned things.

It felt so good and you knew you were eternally screwed as the gemini's only answer was a small chuckle and another squeeze, this one dangerously close to the crotch of your jeans.

If you could have unsheathed, you so would have, but the damned jeans were so tight that you had no room, and your bulge was beginning to get painful, trapped in your sheathe.

Your nook, on the other hand, was wet enough that the material leaking from your soft lips was able to make a dark stain on your pants. 

You chirped once when a single finger brushed over the front of your pants. A humiliated blush flooded your cheeks and you couldn't stop yourself from sending him a pleading look. 

You were totally surprised to see him completely focused on driving even as his hand moved, cupping your trapped bulge and making you moan when the tips of his fingers pushed down on your nook.

He pushed his fingers in a circle, pulling a pleasured cry from your mouth and making your hands instinctively scrabble for purchase on the seat, your claws sinking into the smooth leather.

"Oh cod..." You moaned shakily as your hips bucked just slightly up as you tried to grind into his fingers. Thankfully he seemed to get the message and started grinding his hand down against your crotch, his fingers doing wondrous things to your wanting nook as his palm ground down against your sheathe in ways that made your head spin.

You almost whimpered when he pulled away, but you when you felt your pants being undone, you were hit with the reality of it like a slap to the face. 

Holy mother grub, you were about to get off in a big black truck at the hands of your father's friend.

You were so royally fucked up. And you loved it.

You could feel your cheeks burning when Psimon chuckled at your lack of underwear. Though you didn't have much time to be embarrassed when your bulge was unsheathing with a wet sound and he was suddenly grabbing it, letting it tangle with his fingers as he rubbed it.

You couldn't help it, you let out a strangled scream with a few swears and scattered glubs mixed in. You gasped when warm lips were suddenly covering yours. It took you a moment to realize that he had pulled off to the side of the road.

Your stomach jumped again when your drunken mind realized that you were probably going to get fucked in a big black pickup by your dad's friend. You were so turned on that it actually hurt you. You couldn't understand why it felt so good to have his fingers sliding over your bulge, moving from the tip and slowly sliding down until...

You nearly sobbed as his warm fingers pushed into the wet, cold confines of your nook. The roughness of his fingers rubbing against your soft inner walls was making your legs weak.

He took that opportunity, when your mouth was opened in ecstasy, to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You were being washed away on the waves of pleasure as his bifurcated tongue swiped around your myth, acting like he wanted to just eat you alive, and by the way he was biting at your lips occasionally, you guessed that it wasn't too far from his mind.

The thought of his mouth on you... Of his mouth covering your bulge, his tongue teasing your nook with its wet warmth, you were so close.

It seemed Psimon realized that you were close because he pulled his fingers out of your nook just as you were about to release. You whined and chittered, your eyes clenching shut to hold back the frustrated tears gathering there. You had never been so close to release and denied.

"You're not gonna make a meth of my thon'th truck, are you?" Psimon's voice was thick and low, distorted with lust. "We can't have that, can we? What to do?"

"Please!" You choked out, so drunk and desperate that pride wasn't even a real thing to you anymore. "Anyfin!" You pleaded. Your body had been starved of contact from another since you were hatched and you wasn't lasting long at all with the sudden new touches. "Do anyfin, just please don't stop!"

You almost thought about rephrasing your words when a dangerous look came to his multi-colored eyes. But your mouth went dry like you had just swallowed cotton. You couldn't have spoken if your life had  
depended on it.

"Anything, huh?" He smirked and his fangs seemed to sparkle. "That ith an interethting propothition."

He reached over and grabbed your legs, pulling you until your back was against the locked door, and your body was facing him. You nearly shrieked when he pulled your jeans off in one smooth motion, leaving you completely bare to him.

You tried to close your legs together and shield your nakedness from his glittering eyes, but his hands fell on your thighs and held them apart, even spreading them wider as he did.

You had to look away, you couldn't stand the way his eyes were smoldering with lust, seeming as if they would burn right through your entire being.

You weren't looking at him, so you didn't see him move, but you sure as hell felt it when his hot breath teased over your nook exactly two seconds before his mouth pressed to it in a sweet kiss.

Your eyes flashed open and you looked down at him, finding him staring up at you with a smirk on his face even though you couldn't see his mouth.

One eyebrow flew up behind just barely controlled bangs and the next thing you knew a warm, wiggling, bifurcated tongue was worming its way into you.

If ever you thought you knew ecstasy, you were so fucking wrong. You had never felt anything like it before in your entire life, and it must've shown because he pulled back after a little bit, concern was written on his face.

"Ith thith your firtht time doing thith, Eridan?"

You could barely manage an embarrassed nod.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asked, worry seeming to be holding him back.

"Yes!" Your voice was broken and desperate and you were drunk and it felt so good, you didn't give two fucks that you felt like you were dying from the pleasure. It was incredible.

There was that smirk again. It was so damned sexy, and then he was back at it again.

It was mere moments and then you were screaming out your orgasm as you gushed into his waiting mouth, your nook releasing the majority of your genetic material while your bulge only released a small amount.

You didn't think that Psimon Captor could get any sexier, but you were proven wrong when he pulled away from your nook and his mouth was smeared with violet. Your violet.

You didn't even bother trying to resist the urge as you pushed yourself forward and, at the same time, pulled him towards you until your mouths connected in a deep, heavy kiss.

You were high on the pleasure he gave you and drunk on whatever the fuck Fef had given you at the bar, but you were 100% in your right mind when you agreed to stay the night... And when you set a date for another night out.


End file.
